This morning I got out of bed with a stabbing pain in my abdomen. So painful that it made me throw up. I had cold sweats all over. I was alone at home. I called several people but I couldn't reach any of them. Alfred was at the gym and he didn't bring any of his phones. I mustered all my energy to get up and heat myself some water for a hot compress. I even fell by the kitchen sink. It was that painful. I stormed the heavens to please take the pain away! Alfred came home in about an hour and helped me get some fluids and meds. Earlier, I called my doctor to update her. She advised me to take Ponstan. She said that the endometriosis is the one causing this pain.
I finally settled down and fell asleep under a bundle of blankets and a warm bottle close to my tummy. It's close to 4pm now and I'm feeling a bit better. Was able to get up and take a bath, made myself some food then washed the dishes. This pain happens every month so by now you'd think that I'm so used to it already. No!! This month is such a bitch. But I'm tired of lying down and resting! I'm going to my dad's house tonight to have dinner. Some company and comfort food might help.
Tomorrow is another day...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
New Bitch on the Blog
I got my period yesterday. Another false alarm. Another month of follicle monitoring, killer Clomid and Pregnyl shots. I've been undergoing treatment for about 9 months now. I'm done with the HSG (clear), but I have reservations about laparoscopy.
It really has taken its toll on me. The Clomid alone drives me up the wall! There are times when i spend the entire week crying. I get super irritated and emotional about the slightest comments about my condition. Sometimes I wonder how my husband can stand me.
Speaking of comments. Some people can just be so insensitive sometimes. Why do I always have to be nice and respectful? When what I really want to do is have a bitch fit and tell everybody to go f**k off. Oops, those are the hormones going wild! Seriously, people should know what to say to someone who is undergoing infertility treatments. Going through this is hard and it hits you on all levels. There are a million and one things going on in your body and in your mind. You try your best to stay centered. Then some insensitive comment hits you. Bam!!!! You feel like a house of cards crashing down down down. So what am I saying here? Just please be more sensitive. A simple "I'm always praying for you" is more than enough. Stop bombarding me with your questions, stop giving me "suggestions". Arghh! Just.stop.it.
Really, all that my body's going thru and the choices that I make are none of your business.
When I am left alone I am able to better manage the side effects of my meds. When I am left alone I am able to sit quietly and pray. I know its all about faith and that God will give our baby to us at the right time. So in the mean time, can the insensitives just learn to give me space? Really.
It really has taken its toll on me. The Clomid alone drives me up the wall! There are times when i spend the entire week crying. I get super irritated and emotional about the slightest comments about my condition. Sometimes I wonder how my husband can stand me.
Speaking of comments. Some people can just be so insensitive sometimes. Why do I always have to be nice and respectful? When what I really want to do is have a bitch fit and tell everybody to go f**k off. Oops, those are the hormones going wild! Seriously, people should know what to say to someone who is undergoing infertility treatments. Going through this is hard and it hits you on all levels. There are a million and one things going on in your body and in your mind. You try your best to stay centered. Then some insensitive comment hits you. Bam!!!! You feel like a house of cards crashing down down down. So what am I saying here? Just please be more sensitive. A simple "I'm always praying for you" is more than enough. Stop bombarding me with your questions, stop giving me "suggestions". Arghh! Just.stop.it.
Really, all that my body's going thru and the choices that I make are none of your business.
When I am left alone I am able to better manage the side effects of my meds. When I am left alone I am able to sit quietly and pray. I know its all about faith and that God will give our baby to us at the right time. So in the mean time, can the insensitives just learn to give me space? Really.
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